Thursday, March 28, 2013

Jesus, You're Lucky (Aunt Rita)

My partner, my old man, the coolest mutha effa evah, verdant dude, earl....whatever you want to call him, well, his Aunt is dying. 
Aunt Rita. This whole thing stinks. I love my Old Man's family. They're a crazy Irish bunch, that party, enjoy really great food, drink like, well, they drink like a crazy Irish bunch, and they're wicked smart, each one of them. (Yeah, that sounded kinda Bostonish, but I swear on my life it is unintentional.)
The Old Man has 4 sisters and a brother plus they all have signif. others and boatloads of kids. They're seriously a clan. A really good kind of clan. My Old Man (going forward, it will be shortened to M.O.M), has a major regret that makes me cry whenever he says it. Ready? He says, "It breaks my heart to think Dad never got a chance to meet you. God, he would've LOVED you." I'm filling up just typing that. M.O.M. loved his Dad more than any other human that ever had the honor to be in my M.O.M.'s circle of energy. He died too young, just a few months before we met. M.O.M. is so much like his Dad. Everyone says so. It makes him proud. Which makes ME proud.
So, now onto Aunt Rita. She is M.O.M.'s Mother's, Sister. (Maybe this M.O.M. moniker is going to get confusing. Oh well, deal with it. I'm in no mood to give a fuck.) I love M.O.M's Mother BTW. She is always put together, but not in an "Aryan from Darien" kinda way. She just is a great accessorizer, and wears Chicos & JJill like a boss. She also enjoys life. With her sisters. They're always going to wineries. Seeing shows. Just being together. I love Aunt Raney (I'm sorry if I'm spelling that wrong), Aunt Raney is kinda like my favorite. Which I know is awful to say, but I just feel the love for her in my bones. She is strong and brave. Blah, blah. This isn't about her. She just rocks, and it kills me she and Lucille (M.O.M.'s Mother) are hurting so much right now.
So now REALLY onto Aunt Rita. Looks wise? Picture those Austrian stacking dolls. Really, good ones. Not made in China, by 6 year old starving kids. I'm talking antique, hand painted wooden gems that are a sight to behold. Aunt Rita looks like the number two stacking doll in that priceless set. The Mother figure. Round face, rosy pudgy cheeks, cutest kinda plump butt. That's Aunt Rita. Personality wise? A lot like a hardcore nun, that drinks great scotch, laughs easily and gives.....THE BEST HUGS EVER!! Her hugs can put you onto another plane of existence. You just want to melt away. Quaalude hugs. Really. Never, ever, ever, want to let go.
I disagree with almost every religious, philosophical, and social belief she has ever held, and yet I just want to be in her arms right now. Her hugs just emit pure goodness and joy. So, even if she disagrees with me on all the stuff like Gay's Right To Marry, or the Right To Choose, or priests marrying, the warmth of her hugs send me a completely different message. Her hugs are non-denominational, hippy, loving, left wing, non-judgmental hugs. (NOTE: I don't want to hear from any of you slagging on my "left wing" comment, I'm hurting and don't need the aggravation.)
It's like her hugs know better. Her hugs smile and wink behind her back. Her hugs whisper in my ear, "She talks that stuff, but c'mon, feel this. All there is is love and compassion here."
The hugs are right. I wish she had met a man that swept her off her feet like her nephew (M.O.M.) did for me. I wish she had more orgasms.(Listen don't be a hating on me for that comment. Maybe she had a Hitachi Magic Wand that I know nothing about, but I bet my love of The Yankees she didn't. Sad.) I wish she explored the world more and didn't put soooooooo much of her time and energy into the church. You're thinking, "Well, THAT made her happy!" Um, yeaaaaaah, but I get the feeling she talked herself into that happiness on some level.
I'm just pissed. She's only in her very early 70's and she had a massive stroke on her church steps in the middle of the night. There's a lot about that that pisses me off. I mean ON THE CHURCH STEPS? STILL SO YOUNG? RELATIVELY HEALTHY? NIGHTTIME? C'mon God/Jesus give this lady a break.
So let me be honest here. I'm being a selfish cunt. I don't want to see this great family suffer and mourn. I don't want to see M.O.M. try to be "strong". I don't want to Lucille and Raney (and Uncle DJ) to experience stuff without their partner in crime.
But mostly, I don't want to go on without those hugs anymore. I can't imagine not getting another one. Like I said, I'm a selfish cunt.
I DO take solace in one great thought. I know Aunt Rita, when she goes, will head straight up. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 rosaries. She will get to stroll past Saint Peter, with her heaven "Easy Pass", giving him a little "Wassup Peter" salute with her two fingers. And she will FINALLY come face to face with the love of her life, God/Jesus. And then, she will give him one of her hugs. And he will hug back, because that's what God/Jesus is suppose to do into those situations. And she'll get to feel what I got to feel all those times. And God/Jesus will smile and wink over her shoulder at the hugs that now get to hang around heaven and spread themselves around even more!!!
God/Jesus, Lucky Fucking Bastard.

For: Christine Curley-Morales Barbara Cremin Modica Michael Modica Rami Baghdadi (and the rest of the family Facebook member's yea or nay.)

1 comment: